Colorblind
by The Tangerine
Summary: When he breaks down, he doesn't do it slowly or gracefully. He is not a sunset on a Saturday 6PM or a candle burning alone. He is a dam falling apart and a house of cards hit by the wind. When he breaks down, he does it completely. [AkuRoku]


**Colorblind**

**Summary: **When he breaks down, he doesn't do it slowly or gracefully. He is not a sunset on a Saturday 6PM or a candle burning alone. He is a dam falling apart and a house of cards hit by the wind. When he breaks down, he does it completely. [AkuRoku]

**Disclaimer: **All characters used in this story belong to Square Enix.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Yellow**

* * *

**10**

There is a thing about adults that is not fully understood by kids, and it is still not understood by adults. They are only better at hiding it.

There is, however, a thing that is not understood by adults that is perfectly clear for kids. And when Roxas sees Axel for the first time, he knows exactly what it is. Axel, however, has no idea.

The thing is that Roxas is 10, and he is beautiful and naïve, and his eyes are brighter than a Sunday at 10AM, and his skin is softer than orchids. _Roxas_ completely understands why he is suddenly pulled in by this stranger, this fire red and earth green, the scars on his imperfect skin and sharp stubs on the thin beard, this beautiful mess. And when he sees Axel for the first time at the porch of his home smiling amicably at his father, he doesn't even blink. He just stands there like there are roots sprouting out from his feet.

Axel, however, does move, because he is not hit by a truck and he still has air in his lungs.

"Axel, this is my son Roxas. Roxas, this is Axel. He is an old friend of mine."

Axel approaches with a friendly smile on his face and crouches down in front of him. "Hey, Roxas. You look exactly like your father, did you know that? Man, you sure have grown."

He doesn't want to know who he looks like. He wants to know why Axel's voice sounds like that, and why it makes him warm even though it's mid-winter and the door is still open. He keeps his mouth shut, and when his father laughs and invites Axel over to the kitchen, he follows suit.

Roxas sits by himself on a side of the table, but that's ok, because across from him is Axel and he can stare all he wants.

"How's Reno?" His father asks, setting down a mug for Axel and pouring coffee for him.

Axel leans back on his chair and brings the mug over to his lips. "In LA, living his dream. Apparently working as a bodyguard there is a lot more money, y'know?"

Roxas _doesn't_ know. He does know, however, that Los Angeles, California, is over on the other side of the continent. He also knows that winter in California is nowhere near as bad as in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and Axel looks like a guy who enjoys warm weather.

"Well, those Hollywood starts aren't going to guard themselves, are they?" Cloud chuckles as he pours a mug to himself as well. Roxas notices that he hasn't been served any.

"You bet. He asked about you. He's probably missing your days together as bodyguards."

Cloud leans back on his chair and taps on the wood of the table thoughtfully. He shoots a look at Roxas before replying in a quiet tone. "Aerith doesn't like it. She prefers if I stay here with the shop. Apparently fixing bikes isn't as bad as standing still for hours as a douchebag gives off a speech or something. Besides, Reno has Rude now. They make a good team."

"Yeah, well, but surprisingly Rude talks even _less_ than you, so Reno gets a bit restless. Though I have to say that you've become a lot nicer since you and Aerith got married. How long has it been, anyway?" Axel rests his right arm on the back of his chair, and Roxas follows the motion with attentive eyes. He examines Axel's long fingers like an artist watching a paint, and he notices how thin and pale they are.

"9 years. How are you supposed to remember that, anyway? You were just a little kid back then."

Axel rolls his impossibly green eyes and answers with a laugh, a sound that fills Roxas' body as if it is water to a drowning man. "11 years is _not_ a little kid. See Roxas here? He is almost a man now!" Roxas is startled by the sudden mention of his name, but when Axel fixes him with his gaze, he holds it. "I remember when he was just a little baby. God, he could fit right into my arms."

"Yeah…" Cloud smiles fondly at the memory, his eyes fixed on his mug. "Seems like it was yesterday, right? You're already 21, though. Last time I saw you, you were still 15, and without those horrible stains on your face."

Axel laughs again, and Roxas clings to that like a desperate man. "They're called _tattoos_, Cloud. Got them when I was 18. They're nice, aren't they?"

"You look like a criminal." Cloud replies and, though his tone is harsh, Roxas notices that it is also fond.

"A _handsome_ criminal," Axel corrects him, redirecting his attention to Roxas, "right?"

He is pretty sure that handsome isn't the right word, because it doesn't come close to describing this sudden pull, the sparkle in his eyes, the heavy tug on his stomach.

"Stop messing with my son," Cloud warns him fondly, absent-mindedly swirling the black liquid in his mug. "Why don't you get some juice, Rox?"

Juice sounds so childlike, so distant from the world the two adults seem to live in. "I want coffee."

Both the adults stare at him with a puzzled expression. "Don't be silly, Rox. You hate coffee, don't you? How about some chocolate milk?" His father offers him, but Roxas shakes his head stubbornly, still set on his idea.

"Let him have it, Cloud, what's the harm?"

Overcome by the two men, Cloud lets out a heavy sight as he gets up. "Fine. But don't complain to me if you can't drink all of it later."

Axel follows Cloud with his eyes for a few seconds before turning back to Roxas. "When I was little I wanted to try drinking coffee, too, but what I really liked was hot chocolate. Do you like hot chocolate, too?"

Roxas gazes downwards as he feels embarrassment creeping up on his spine. He bites his lips hard, thinking that he can drink coffee, too, if Axel does it as well. When his father sets down his SpongeBob mug in front of him, he stares at the alien black liquid for long seconds. He doesn't notice when the adults go back to their conversation.

"So where's Aerith?"

"There's an event at school today, for high school kids. She has to attend it."

"I see. So you guys are all alone today? I was actually hoping I'd catch up with her, too."

"She says she'll be back by 7. Why don't you stay for dinner, then? We can grab some pizza."

"You sure it'll be cool? I don't wanna intrude or anything."

Clouds laughs then, getting up and bringing their mugs over to the sink. "Like you haven't already shown up uninvited. Stay over. How long are you staying in town?"

Axel chuckles as he gets up to follow the other man. "Only for today. I'm going to New York to pay a visit for Tifa and maybe stay there for a while. Just thought I'd drop by on my way."

"What, you can't hold still for two days?" Cloud says mockingly, pouring water into the mugs.

Axel casually shrugs as he starts opening the cabinets and looking inside. "What can I say? I'm a wanderer."

"What time is your flight?" He then notices Axel's action and gives him a deep frown. "What are you doing?"

Axel doesn't miss a beat before replying. "At 1AM. I'm just looking for something." He gives a small 'a-ha!' as he pulls out some cinnamon. He then proceeds to look into the fridge.

Cloud lets go with a roll of his eyes. "Figures. I'll drop you off at the airport, how about that? Why are you going at such an odd time, anyway?"

"Flight's cheaper. I'm not loaded like you, big guy. And thanks for the offer. If you're sure about that, I'd like it if you could drive me." Axel then moves over to the table, carrying his supplies over to Roxas. The blond one gives him a curious look but doesn't move as Axel starts his preparations. He pour a generous amount of milk and sugar to the half empty mug and tops it with whipped cream and ground cinnamon. "You'll like it a lot better this way. Tell me later what you think, alright?" He playfully ruffles Roxas' hair before going to the living room with Cloud.

When Roxas takes a sip of the drink, it tastes a lot sweeter than he'd expected, and he's sure it's not because of the sugar.

* * *

When Aerith comes home, she's delighted to see Axel and gives him a big hug, insisting that he stays for dinner.

"What flavor would you like, Axel?" She casually asks, holding the phone in her hand.

Axel is sitting down on the couch. Roxas wants to sit down next to him, and he carefully eyes the empty space beside the redhead. However, he sits down on the floor, in a position that he thinks is good enough to observe the man without looking too obvious.

"I'm not sure," he replies, scratching his head. Then, his green eyes look over to Roxas, and he smiles softly. "What d'ya think, Rox?"

He is delighted by the use of his nickname and, although it thrills him, it also makes him look downward. No one says anything, clearly waiting for his answer and, after longs seconds of careful thoughts, he finally answers. "Pepperoni."

The smile that Axel gives should be illegal, because no one is supposed to look that happy over a pizza flavor. But he does, and when Roxas finally gets over the trembling feeling that consumes his stomach, Axel starts it all over again. "I knew you were smart! Pepperoni it is, then."

Roxas helps his mother set the table, and when he finishes, his father goes outside to get the pizza. He waits carefully for everyone to sit down before choosing his own place. At the end, he is faced with a tough decision: if he sits beside Axel, he'll be close to him, but he won't be able to _stare_ at him, and he doesn't know what attracts him more: Axel's warmth, or just being able to _look_. The decision, however, is made for him when Axel casually invites him to sit by his side.

"Axel's actually leaving tonight, and I was thinking of driving him over to the airport. We should probably leave here by 10:30 maximum if we wanna make it there on time," Cloud comments vaguely as he cuts a bit of his pizza properly using a knife and a fork. Roxas swallows heavily and, in a vaguely pathetic motion of trying to imitate him, he picks up the utensils as well.

"But I'm cool if you don't want him to be out of the house so late, Aerith, I can take a cab or something." Axel, however, ignores the silver objects next to his plate and picks the slice with his hands, bringing it over to his mouth and biting off a huge piece. Roxas' eyes follow the movement very closely and, as green eyes suddenly dart sideways and give him a friendly blink, he looks down, embarrassed.

"Nonsense, Axel dear. Cloud _must_ drive you. I'm afraid I won't be able to go along, though. I got up very early today, you see, so I don't think I'll be much of a company if I get asleep."

"What're you talking about? You're always a sight for sore eyes!" Axel says dramatically, a string of cheese hanging from his lips. Roxas eyes him curiously as he tries with great failure to successfully cut off a piece of his pizza. In the end, he just gives up and picks it up with his hands.

"So what are you visiting Tifa for?" Cloud suddenly asks.

"She invited me over to stay and, well, I figured I'd help her out at the bar. I've taken a few classes for mixing drinks and such, thought it'd be nice."

"I see," the blond nods approvingly. "You haven't started college yet, right?"

Axel shakes his head nonchalantly as he takes off another bite of the pizza, "No money. Besides, I've no idea what I want to do."

"Well, how about some courses? They are cheaper but get you to the same thing, more or less."

"Nah. They're just a pain, you know? I'll just try out working at Tifa's and maybe I'll figure something out for myself."

Cloud stares blankly at him, but Aerith gently clasps her hands together, diverting the attention. "Well, it's good, isn't it? Nobody knows what they want to do at such a young age, anyway. I'm sure you'll just fit right in with Tifa."

"Yeah, she's cool. Maybe you guys could visit sometime, when you're off work, right? And when it's summer. Man, it's cold here."

Roxas wants to visit, he thinks. He wants to go everywhere Axel is. He wants to see why New York is where he is going, why he won't stay in Virginia Beach and work at some bar _here_. But instead, he just remains silent, clinging desperately to every word Axel says, every laugh and sigh, even the way his fingers move as he scratches at his chin or when he slowly chews on his pizza, a look of utter satisfaction on his face.

And when dinner ends around 9PM, Roxas' eyelids are heavy and closing on its own, but he stays firmly at the table, memorizing everything he can. And when Aerith takes the dishes over to the kitchen, Axel stands up and goes over to help, laughing and brushing it off when she insists he doesn't have to.

"Rox, you look tired." Cloud says suddenly, snapping him out of his quiet observation. "Why don't you go to bed? Your mother and I will stay up a bit longer to take Axel to the airport."

It sounds reasonable, but it isn't tempting at all, and the words are out of his mouth like a hurricane. "Can I go to the airport with you?"

"What?" His father asks, eyebrows frowning over his sharp features. "Rox, we'll be really late. I don't think you can stay up."

"I want to go." He says stubbornly. And maybe it is the fact that he has never asked for anything so desperately before, maybe it's the fierce look in his eyes. Whatever it is, it gets him what he wants.

He sits at the couch by his mother side. She's stroking his hair with her gentle fingers, the touch barely there, almost like a whisper, and before long, he is fast asleep.

When he wakes up, it takes him a while to figure out why he is lying alone on the couch, but when he does, he can feel his breathing become shallow and his blue, blue eyes frantically scan the room, looking for red, green, _him_. He gets up a bit groggy, the room spinning as he takes short but quick steps. It turns out that the first place he goes is the right one.

"There, all in." Cloud murmurs, white fog coming out of his mouth as he speaks. He closes the trunk in one fluid motion, and the loud _bang_ is enough to make Roxas blink once and realize that he, too, has white fog coming out of his mouth, and that the thin long sleeve t-shirt and jeans are nowhere near enough to keep him warm. His father notices this the same time as him. "Roxas! Get back inside or you'll catch a cold!"

In his mind, however, there is only thing. "Where's Axel?"

"You called?"

The whole world shifts as he spins around and sees Axel peering down at him. He hadn't realized until then how tall Axel was, almost as tall as his father. He looks up, up, up until he catches green eyes smiling amicably down at him. "Aren't you cold?" Axel asks as he notices the short shivers that are slowly consuming Roxas' body. The blond swallows heavily, feeling the ghost of an ache creeping up on his throat, and nods sharply. Axel laughs and ruffles his hair before taking off his black leather jacket and dropping it softly over Roxas' shoulders. "There. This should keep you warm."

His blue eyes trails over the thin arms covered in black fabric, a cover almost as useless as his own had been. "Aren't _you_ cold?" Roxas throws his question right back at him.

Axel, though, just laughs again and shakes his head. "I'll be fine. Come on, let's get in the car."

Roxas climbs in the back seat, properly putting the jacket on and closing it tightly around him. It smells like red pepper and burnt wood, just like Axel, and he immediately loves the piece of clothing, secretly wishing he doesn't have to give it back. The ride to the airport takes about one hour with the sound of Queen, Kiss, AC/DC and one Bee Gees song that throws Axel into a fit of laugher as Cloud blushes and quickly changes to the next song.

By the time they reach the airport, Roxas is again fast asleep. He misses the chance to say bye to Axel, but Axel also misses the chance to get his jacket back, so in the end all is well.

Roxas also misses the quick kiss Axel plants on his temple when he knows Cloud isn't looking.

* * *

**13**

He dreams of… Burning woods. Surrounded by a green ocean, and red flames that reach high up the blue sky. He isn't afraid. The flames are warm against him, rather than painfully hot, and they are gentle. They don't touch him, but instead prefer to stay curled up in the woods, burning away slowly. And he listens to that husky laugh, and _that_ is warmer than the red flames, and it is what attracts him. But he doesn't find the source of that laughter anywhere, although he keeps looking for it. And, god, how he wants to.

Suddenly, the ground sinks and shakes and a large rock falls on top of him, making him go 'oof'! He feels pain as well, but this is wrong, he thinks, because he can't feel pain while he is dreaming.

"Roxas, Roxas! Wake up, wakeupwakeup! C'mon!" Someone is shaking him rather roughly, pulling at the covers that are keeping him warm. Roxas groans breathlessly, trying to turn over but finding himself stuck.

"…What?" He asks stupidly, trying to open his eyes but being blinded by the bright light in his room.

"C'mon! It's your day! Get up!" It takes him longer than usual to realize that the heavy weight on his chest is a brown ball full of energy. He groans as Sora jumps all over again.

"For heaven's sake, Sora, what time is it?"

"9 o'clock!"

"_In the morning_?! Dammit, Sora, it's the weekend!" He says angrily, trying to turn over and hide his face in his pillow.

"Yes! But it's also your birthday! How excited are you?!"

"… Not. I wanna sleep."

"But you can't! Cause I'm here and I'm bored. Let's play videogames!"

_How could Sora's voice be so loud in the morning? _Roxas thinks as he tries once again to roll over. He doesn't succeed. However, he does notice one thing. One problem that could become very awkward if his blissfully alienated cousin also noticed. He fixes his face with the best frown he can and glares at Sora.

"Get out. Let me change at least."

"Oh, no! I know you're just going to go back to sleep if I leave you here!" Curse Sora for his stubbornness. "Get up!" The brunette says, grabbing both of Roxas' wrists and tugging him into a sitting position.

"Sora!" Roxas yell exasperated, trying his best to remain lying down. "**Out**!"

"Sora dear," Sora's mom calls from downstairs, clearly having heard their discussion. "Let poor Roxas get up on his own. He'll come down when he's ready."

Sora's baby face is adorned with a cute pout that has no effect on Roxas. He reluctantly gets up from the bed and makes his way to the door. "Fine! I was just trying to help him."

Roxas breathes a sigh of relief as he hears the door closing. He gingerly lifts up the covers and looks down, spotting the obvious shape of his erection through his pajamas.

He gets downstairs half an hour later with damp hair and an oddly satisfied smile on his lips. Sora smiles at him through a mouthful of pancakes and Roxas rolls his eyes.

"Good morning, sweetie," Aerith says from her spot by the stove and kisses Roxas' cheek when he gets close. "Happy birthday."

"Happy birthday, Rox!" His aunt says lively as she washes the dishes, playfully ruffling his blond hair and getting them wetter than before.

Roxas sits by the table and pulls his plate of pancakes away from Sora. "Thanks. Why're you all here so early?"

"Yush muom ashed mu muom fush helsh." Sora says excitedly through his full mouth, bits of half chewed pancakes flying across the table and lying next to Roxas' plate, who just stares blankly at his cousin. Sora swallows the whole thing down at once, his small Adam's apple making a violent movement with the action, and he speaks again. "Your mom asked my mom for help! Y'know, preparing for the party!"

"Hooray," Roxas says sarcastically, though his cousin doesn't notice.

After breakfast, Sora drags Roxas over to the videogame and proceeds to go through several rounds on a fighting game, though he keeps losing. Around lunchtime, the doorbell rings.

"Rox, dear, can you go get it?" Aerith calls from the kitchen and he breathes a sigh of relief as he hits the 'pause' button.

"Happy birthday, Rox!" The small blond is greeted by three excited voices as his friends smile at him and present him with a rather large packing. Rox grins affectively as he steps aside.

"Thanks guys." He takes the package into his hands, surprised by how light it is, and walks over back to the living room. "Why are you all here so early?"

"We were just excited to see you! Hey, Sora." Olette sits down by Sora's side, looking over the frozen screen. "Were you two playing?"

Roxas' sits on the other side of his cousin and gently puts the box down by his crossed legs as Sora answers in his place. "Yeah! I won every round so far!"

Roxas rolls his eyes as he snorts. "Right. Can I open it?"

"Wait, wait!" Hayner yells as he runs over and sits by Roxas' side. "Let Pence take a picture. C'mon, guys."

Sora immediately throws his arms around everyone and squeezes them tightly together as he smiles exaggeratedly at the camera. Pence grabs the large Polaroid flung over his shoulders and point the lenses at the four of them, counting to three before snapping the picture, the bright flash momentarily blinding them.

"Ok, now you can open it!" Hayner pushes the box closer to Roxas and stares at him expectantly, a confident grin threatening to take over his features. Roxas raises an eyebrow at him, chuckling softly as he carefully undoes the wrapping and opens the box.

His breath caught in his throat as he stares at the contents of the box. When he reaches his hands inside and ruffles the paper aside, he doesn't find the bottom of the box, only more and more colorful papers. "Guys…" he says breathlessly as he stares at the countless pictures of them. Pictures from when they were 3 and just got to know each other, from when they were 7 and just then started knowing the true meaning of frozen paper moments. Of when they were 11 and Roxas' gaze suddenly became softer.

"Do you like it?" Olette asks shyly, though there is a childlike confidence in her green eyes as she stares at him.

"I love it." He says truthfully, his fingers gently caressing the smooth surfaces. "I didn't know you guys kept all of these pictures."

"Pence did all the work!" Olette gently pats Pence's shoulder as he scratches his nose, a light shade of pink coming over his puffy cheeks. "There is an album at the bottom. We can help you put the pictures in there."

"Yeah. I'd like that." He whispers, an honest smile on his baby face.

Hayner playfully shoves him and picks up the videogame control by Roxas' feet. "Enough of this! Who's up for a match?"

Sora is up for a match, though he loses pathetically. They take turns for the next hour until the doorbell rings again. This time, it's Sora that jumps up and runs over to the door. "Riku! Kairi!" His scream can be heard throughout the whole house and the neighborhood, Roxas suspects.

"Hey, Brownie. Hey, Rox. Happy birthday." Riku shows up on the living room with a brown ball of energy clinging desperately to his arms. Sora trips on his own feet a few times as he tries to walk and keep as close to Riku as physically possible, though he is clearly not coordinated enough for that.

"Thanks, Riku. I see Sora has already established his place by your side."

The silverette rolls his eyes, but Roxas knows he is nowhere near annoyed. "Tell me about it."

"Hey, Rox. We got you a present. Happy birthday!" Kairi kneels by his side and gives him a kiss on the cheek as she hands him a package.

"Thanks, Kairi." Roxas fingers the wrapping paper before carefully opening it, trying his hard not to tear at any spot. With a relative success, he is able to fish out a checkered jacket.

"Sora helped us pick it out," the redhead comments as she sits down by Olette.

"I did!" Sora screams as if the statement needed confirmation. Roxas flashes them a smile as he puts away the piece of clothing.

"Is everyone here already?" Aerith asks as she comes over from the kitchen, her apron neatly clean though Roxas can smell a mixture of food coming from the other room. "You all must be hungry. Come on over, lunch is ready."

"Yesssssss!" Sora is the first one to bolt upright and run for the kitchen, though his mother kicks him back, yelling at him to wash his hands first.

"How does he _do_ that?!" Hayner asks as he watches with amazement Sora running back to wash his hands and then running over to the kitchen. Roxas merely shrugs.

"Don't ask me. Riku's the one who has to stand him the most," he says with a grin, shooting Riku a meaningful look.

Everyone gathers around the table and Roxas ends up sitting between Hayner and Olette. She snuggles up to him a bit, giggling when Hayner huffs and pulls Roxas' arms. They play with each other as Aerith quietly fills up their plates. By the time she is done, Sora is already halfway through with his, his right cheek mysteriously covered in sauce.

"Sora sure can eat, huh?" Olette murmurs amusedly, her food still almost intact on her plate.

Roxas rolls his eyes, watching his cousin fondly as Riku takes a napkin and tries to wipe his face. "You haven't seen him this morning. He ate 10 pancakes."

"Did not!" Sora suddenly yells, twisting his face in a motion so fast that Riku smears sauce all over to his ear. "I only ate 9!"

"Sora, dammit, sit still!" Riku scowls, grabbing the brunette's shoulders as he proceeds to clean the new found damage.

Hayner's mouth is agape as he watches the whole scene in front of him. "Dude, he eats more than all of us together. Now I know why he's so hyper!"

Roxas chuckles and rolls his eyes. "Makes sense, doesn't it?"

Sora glares at him, but whatever he has to say is lost in the sudden sound of the doorbell ringing. Roxas turns his head around suspiciously, sudden butterflies floating around in his stomach.

"Oh, dear. Who could it be?" Aerith mutters to herself as she is washing the dishes. She turns off the faucet and wipes her hands, moving to open the door.

Roxas, though, is faster, and jumps up from the chair before anyone can move. "Don't worry about it, mom. I'll get it."

His steps are light and carefree as he makes his way over to the front door, but something is buzzing in his head, bright red lights flashing around. Sixth sense doesn't exist, his brain argues logically with him, but his heart is still drumming uncontrollably.

When he opens the door, though, everything he had been feeling seems fickle in comparison, and he can see now that every memory he had is pale when the real thing is in front of him.

Axel hasn't changed much. He still has that loopside smile that makes Roxas' heart skip three beats at a time. The dark diamond drops below his too green eyes are as dark as ever. His body still looks unhealthily thin and unbelievably alluring. And Roxas' mouth still goes dry and his brain still gets mushy in front of this incredibly perfect human being.

Axel, though, still has his heart race at a normal level, and his mouth and brain are working perfectly well, so it makes sense that he is the first one to speak. "Holy shit, look at you. You've grown so much!"

Roxas blinks once, a violent shiver running down his spine as Axel speaks. He wants to protest, to tell Axel to stop treating him as a kid, but everything his brain is telling him is to shut up and keep him as close as possible. "I thought you lived in New York", he says stupidly.

Axel, though, merely shrugs. "Yeah. Got tired of it. I heard today is your birthday, so I thought I'd drop by. Can I come in?"

Roxas immediately fluxes as steps aside, smelling the all too familiar scent as Axel steps inside. "We're having lunch," his mouth offers, though his brain has no idea what to say.

"So I didn't miss the cake, then? Awesome!" Axel sends him a grin that should be illegal in at least 10 states.

"Roxas!" Sora yells, his too loud footsteps growing closer. "What's taking you so long?!" Sora had the decency to stop dead on his tracks at the sight of the stranger, but his behavior only lasts a few seconds as he smiles and comes closer. "Hi!"

Axel, for his part, looks bewildered from Roxas over to Sora and back to Roxas again. "There wasn't a brother when I came here last time," he says stupidly.

"Sora's my cousin." Roxas offers in a flat voice.

"Oh." Axel looks over at Sora again before shrugging. "C'mon, kids, time to go back to lunch!" He grins at both of them before strolling over to the kitchen, Roxas and Sora following him suit.

"Oh! Axel, dear, look at you! I didn't know you were coming!" Aerith beckons him close and cups his face, examining his features before pulling him into a warm hug. Roxas can see all of his friends looking agape at Axel and then shooting him questioning glances, but he does his best to ignore them.

"Cloud actually told me about it when I called him a few days ago, so I thought I'd drop by. Hope I'm not imposing..." Axel trails off, his green eyes looking at the kids staring at him. Roxas notices that his friends quickly turn their gazes back to the food.

"Nonsense, Axel. Why don't you have a seat? We have just started lunch, actually. You must be hungry."

"I'm always hungry, Aerith," Axel says with a chuckle, eyeing the table and finding an open seat between Pence and Kairi. When he moves to sit there, though, Olette violently elbows Pence on the ribs and pushes him towards the empty chair.

"Ouch! Why did you do that, Olette?" Pence rubs his ribs as he tries his best not to fall from his seat.

Olette sends him a glare whose meaning fails to reach him and, with a _huff_, she puts up her sweetest voice. "C'mon, Pence, jump over to make room for Roxas' friend. I'm sure he wouldn't want to sit here with us."

"Huh?" He moves to protest, but this time the glare Olette has does reach him, and he gulps heavily. "Uh, y-yeah. You're right." He moves awkwardly over to the next seat, and Olette proceeds to jump over to his open seat. She looks over at Roxas, a knowing smile playing at her lips.

Roxas blushes and, trying to pretend that nothing happened, moves over to his seat. Axel says nothing at the whole thing as he proceeds to sit by Roxas' side.

"So!" Sora starts loudly, having re-established his place by Riku's side. "You're Axel, right?! Are you a friend of Roxas'?"

Everyone turns their gaze over to Axel, looking both interested and relieve that the questions they have been wanting to ask were already being said by Sora.

Axel, though, doesn't seem bothered by it and answers the questions in good spirits. "I am. Rox and me go way back, right?" He asks Roxas, his hand gently cupping the boy's shoulder. Roxas keeps his eyes transfixed on his amazing plate of food. "I've met Cloud before he was married to Aerith, and we've been good friends since."

"Cool! How come I didn't meet you before?" Sora presses on, suddenly forgetting the food in front of him.

"I don't live here. I've been in New York for these last years, but now I wanted a change of scenery. I went to Maine and Maryland for a few days before coming down here to visit."

"How long are you staying here for?" Roxas suddenly asks, his blue eyes fixed on Axel's face, drinking in his traces.

"Not too long. I've got a ticket to Florida in a couple of days and from then I'll go to California to meet with Reno."

Roxas' ground disappears at those words and he tries his best not to look sullen, though he's sure his face has become a bit sour. "Oh," is all he can say.

"Don't worry, though," Axel playfully ruffles his hair. "I'll be staying here for the next two days, so you'll get sick of me by the time I leave."

The blond wants to say that it's not true, he could never get enough of Axel, and by now he was already addicted to his scent and the way the corners of his mouth tugged up when he was smiling, and when Axel left, he would go into serious abstinence.

"Why do you travel so much?" Sora pries again, blissfully ignoring the moody feeling that had set.

"I just like it. You can always meet a lot of people when you go to new places."

"Oh." He thinks for a while, his eyes staring at Axel. "Don't you miss them, though? _**Ow**_! Riku! Why did you do that?!"

Riku manages to look both pissed off and taken aback by Sora's reaction. "_Sora!_" He hisses. "You can't ask people these kinds of things. You barely know him."

"Why? What's wrong with that?" The brunette shouts back, looking indignant.

"It's fine." Axel interrupts them, an amused look in his eyes. "I don't mind. I do miss them, but it's also a good thing to come back after many years and see how much they've changed. Take Rox, for example," the blond jumps a little at the mention of his name, "he's almost a man now, right? And I bet he's a success with the ladies. People could kill for eyes like yours, did you know that?"

Roxas doesn't. He thinks that people could kill for _Axel's_ eyes, but most of all he could give one of his kidneys just to spend a whole day alone with him. He bites his lips regretfully, feeling the upcoming whirlwind of emotions up his throat.

"You have very nice eyes too, Axel," Kairi offers, noticing Roxas' discomfort and trying to get the attention off of him.

"Why, thank you, young lady." He says gallantly, making a short bow at her, which causes the girls to laugh. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm _starving_!" And, with that change of subject, Roxas is able to finish his lunch without having a heart attack.

* * *

By the time the cake is eaten and everyone goes home, it is already 6 PM. Cloud comes back from the shop a little bit after lunch and welcomes Axel amicably, saying that of course he can stay over at the house for the next couple of days and, just like last time he was there, he promises to drive Axel to the airport when it's time to leave.

In the quiet house, Roxas takes his gifts and sits at the living room floor, the large box still closed in front of him. He fingers the edges slowly, thoughtfully, before opening the lid and having another look inside.

"What have you got there?" Roxas jumps at the sudden question and turns around quickly, finding Axel bent down beside him.

"Pictures." He answers simply, his mouth suddenly dry.

"Is that you?!" The redhead shoots out his hand and picks out a picture from when Roxas was about 6 and looking odd in an oversized t-shirt. "Oh, wow, you look so cute!" He completes between chuckles.

Roxas blushes, but he doesn't try to snatch the picture away because he is afraid of ruining it. "_Cute_ is not a very good compliment, is it?"

"Sorry, sorry," Axel says, trying to quiet down his growing laughter. "If it makes you feel any better, you look very _handsome_ now."

His heart is suddenly on fire and his cheeks are burning at the unexpected compliment, so he turns his head back to the box of pictures, trying to hide his growing embarrassment.

"Is this a birthday present?" Axel gestures to the box, unaware of the effect of his words.

"Yeah. Hayner and the others gave it to me." Roxas fishes out the album from the bottom of the box and flips through its empty pages.

Axel takes another picture with the four of them at around 9 years and smiles fondly. "You guys seem like very good friends."

Roxas nods and picks a picture that he thinks is the oldest one and sticks it to the album. "Yeah. We've known each other since forever."

The redhead nods absentmindedly and puts the picture back inside the box. "Must be nice, huh?" He ruffles Roxas' hair again before getting up.

Roxas turns around, seeing Axel getting up, and he immediately shoots for his ankle, grabbing hold of him. Axel looks at him curiously, and the blond one blushes, taking his hand back as if Axel's leg is on fire. "Uh…" he starts, not sure of what he wants to say. "Do you wanna help me put the album together?"

Axel smiles fondly at him. "May I?" He asks, oddly formal.

Roxas just nods his head, and Axel sits down next to him, crossing his legs and causing his knee to brush against Roxas'. He picks up a photo that looks old enough to be one of the firsts and, among fond stories told by Roxas and heartwarming comments made by Axel, they assemble the album together.

"Those were a lot of photos!" Axel says when they are finally done, about two hours later. By then, his legs are stretched in from of him, his toes dangling in his socks.

"Pence likes taking them." Roxas says, resting his back on the couch, looking quite satisfied at the result of their work.

"I could tell. He also took a lot today." Axel joins Roxas by the feet of the couch, his back lazily resting against the furniture. "You have good friends, Rox." The redhead smiles fondly before suddenly jumping. "Oh! I almost forgot." He grabs something from his pocket, a green wrapping slightly crumpled, and gives it to Roxas. "Happy birthday."

The blond boy stares at the wrapping for what feels like an eternity before reaching over to it with careful fingers. It's heavier than it looks, he notices, and he just stares dumbly at the present.

"Aren't you gonna open it?" Axel presses on, a fond tone to his voice.

Roxas nods slowly, his eyes fixed on the object in his hands. His fingers are trembling slightly as he carefully opens the package, trying not to tear at the wrapping. When it's open, he fishes inside and his fingers find cold metal. In front of him, he sees a simple gray chain with a pendant in form of a key, an elaborate design to it that somehow tugs at his heart, calling him back to memories of places he has never been and people he has never met.

"Do you like it?" Axel asks after a while, and Roxas blushes, noticing that he has been just staring at the necklace.

"I love it," he whispers, his voice coming out huskier than he imagined. Axel doesn't notice, though, and he just smiles at the boy, a satisfied look in eyes.

"I got it back at New York in an antiques shop. I didn't even know it was your birthday back then, but I got it anyway. It made me think of you almost at once. Crazy, right?"

Roxas doesn't answer. Instead, he looks at the necklace for a few seconds before putting it on, slipping it over his head, completely bewildered that Axel got him something. He feels bad for thinking that he likes this present much better than the photo album his friends of over 10 years gave him. The necklace is cold around his neck, but he finds it doesn't bother him. He then looks over at Axel, thinking that, even though he thought his friends were amazing, his birthday was only good because Axel was there. "You could stay here, you know." He starts tentatively.

"Hmmm?" Axel hums, sort of sleepy, and turns his head to look at the blond.

"Here. In Virginia. You could stay here. You've stayed in New York for three years… Why not here?"

Axel thinks for a while, really thinks, and it makes Roxas' heart warm. Because he knows that, even though the answer could not make him happy, Axel is treating him like an adult, and giving him an answer that is enough.

"It's not that I don't like it here," he starts, carefully measuring his words, "and it's not that I don't like New York. But I think it was a mistake to stay there for so long. I settled, and I hate settling. I can't stay in one place for too long, and it's always been like this. My mind is too big and too reckless to stay still. I think this is why I was able to stand being in New York for so long. Have you been there?" Axel doesn't wait for Roxas' answer before continuing. "It's chaotic, and everyday something new is happening. So it's like multiples places, in just one city. So I didn't feel like I was trapped, at first, until I realized that I was creating roots." Axel sighs, then, looking ahead, his eyes unfocused. Roxas still listens carefully, trying to grasp every opportunity to understand why Axel is the way he is. "You shouldn't create roots to places, Rox." The redhead speaks again. "You should create roots to people. As many as you can. You know how they say home is where the heart is? Well, this way, I'm never a few minutes away from home, no matter where I am."

* * *

That night, Roxas lays awake in his bed, his mind wandering elsewhere, thinking that if hearts have roots, then all of his roots are firmly tied to Axel. The house is quiet and dark, and the red numbers of his alarm by his bed brightly tell him that it is almost one in the morning. He knows he should be tired, and he knows he should be sleeping by then, but he can't, and, feeling reckless, he gets up.

Careful not to make any noise, he tiptoes over to the room right next to his, staying still for a few seconds while he listens to any noise. When he doesn't hear any, he lightly knocks on the door. "Axel?" He whispers, but hears no answer. His hand reaches for the doorknob, turning it carefully. The room is dark inside and, after a few seconds, his eyes can see the faint outline of Axel's body breathing lightly. "Axel?" He whispers again as he enters the room.

Axel stirs a bit, pressing his face further into the pillow, but shows no sign of waking up. Roxas crouches down near the bed, his eyes slowly recognizing the pointy nose and thin lips. He exhales slowly, not realizing when he first held his breath. Timidly, he reaches out and tucks away a lock of hair, feeling its softness under his fingertips. When Axel doesn't show any signs of waking up, he feels bolder and braver, and slowly traces the outline of his jaw, the bridge of his nose, his cupid bow. He thinks, suddenly, that he wants to kiss Axel, this almost stranger sleeping in his house, this person that never leaves his mind no matter how much he tries to think of other things.

The redhead suddenly stirs and Roxas pull his hand away hastily, sudden panic consuming him when he faces groggy green eyes. Axel blinks twice before his eyes finally come into focus, and the slow transformation from sleepiness to awareness and, finally, curiosity, passes by as book pages in front of Roxas.

"Rox?" Axel asks, his voice dripped in sleep.

The blond bites his lips guiltily, but he knows he has to answer. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

Axel slowly sits up and shakes his head. "What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep." He answers truthfully, still crouched down by the pillow.

"… Huh," is all Axel says before he reaches out and flicks on the light. Blinded by a few seconds, Roxas reflexively closes his eyes. "Sit here. Is something wrong?"

Roxas stares at Axel, seeing that, though he obviously looks sleepy, he's trying his best to stay awake and focus on the situation. Guilty consumes him as he stands up. "I'm sorry. I'll go back to my room."

Before he can leave, though, Axel reaches out and grabs his hand, sending a shock wave all over his body. "Hey, it's okay. Sit. You don't have to go. Let's talk."

He considers this over and, in the end, the wish the stay longer with Axel wins, and he sits down by the edge of the bed.

"Why are you so far away? Come on over or you'll fall." Axel beckons, giving enough room for Roxas to sit comfortably. He moves a bit, though he is still very close to the edge of the bed. "Did you have any nightmares?"

"No," Roxas says, looking at the floor as if it is the most interesting thing in the world.

"Well, okay. Just couldn't sleep, then?" Axel asks, rubbing at his eye and stifling a yawn.

"Axel, do you have a girlfriend?" His mouth works faster than his brain and, as soon as the words leave his mouth, Roxas immediately wants to take them back.

Axel, though, merely looks at him with amusement before clearing his throat. "No, not now. Why? Are you interested in some girl?"

Roxas shakes his head, his blue eyes fixed on Axel. He bites his lips, trying to think of many things to say at once, but none coming to his mind.

"C'mon, Rox. There must be a reason why you asked me that. You can talk to me, you know? I won't tell Cloud or Aerith anything you say here."

The blond weight his options, being both afraid of saying too much and curious about what kind of person Axel is, if he feels the same way that he does, if he has a chance to stay with him… In the end, curiosity wins over and, carefully, he asks. "Have you ever liked any… Boy?"

The silence that follows next is heavy, and Roxas is already regretting his decision. "Oh," is all Axel can say as he stays there staring bewildered at Roxas, who immediately blushes and stammers over his next words.

"I-… Uh. Nevermind. I-I'll… I'll leave," when he moves to get up, though, Axel grabs his wrist, holding him in place.

"Wait, wait. I'm not judging you, Rox." He says hurriedly. "Please stay."

Roxas bites his lips again, feeling heat rise over to his cheeks. Axel sighs, running his hand through his hair, a troubled look on his face.

"Okay. Is it Hayner? The blond one who's your childhood friend?" Axel asks and, when Roxas shakes his head, he tries again. "Ok. Riku, then? Sora's friend?" Roxas shakes his head again, and Axel breathes heavily. "Pence, then?"

"No. It's just…" Roxas tries to speak, though he isn't too sure what he wants to say. Feeling trapped, he is already regretting his decision. "Is it wrong? To… To like a boy?"

Axel smiles fondly at him then, beckoning his closer. When Roxas moves a bit, he gently pets his head. "It's not wrong, Rox. Love is love, right? It doesn't matter if it's between two men or two women… Or even like your parents."

"Have you liked any boys?" He asks again. For some reason, this answer is important. He knows it'll hurt, knowing if Axel has had… Relationships with other people, but he wants to know it so badly.

"I have." Axel admits softly. "And I have liked girls, too. You can like both of them, Rox. It's not wrong."

Relief floods over his body as he hears this. Axel smiles at him, his back resting against the headboard. "I'll never judge you, Rox. You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Roxas nods slowly, gaining a little more courage at those words. Perhaps… he can try. And perhaps Axel will accept him. Axel has always been the one in his mind, and there's nothing short of right in this moment and in this feeling, and he's so sure of himself, like he has never been before. "Can I ask you for something?" His voice is barely a whisper.

"Sure. You can ask me anything, Rox, I'll help you."

Roxas isn't too sure Axel'll help him with this, but he wants to try. He has to try. By the day after tomorrow, Axel'll be gone, and with no promise of coming back, how can he ever not ask?

"Can I…" He starts, his throat so dry it seems like he has been running for hours. "Can I kiss you?"

At first, Axel doesn't get what Roxas is asking for. He just stares blankly at the boy, before furrowing his brows very deep, and then suddenly going wide-eyed. "Y-You…" he stammers, voice incredulous. "Me?" He asks, though Roxas isn't sure what he means.

Axel suddenly gets up, pacing around the room, his bare feet surprisingly light on the hardwood floor. He buries his fingers through his hair, eyes closed as he mutters things under his breath. Roxas knows that this reaction isn't good, but he just sits on the bed, unsure of what to do.

"Me?" Axel suddenly asks again, turning to face Roxas. "You meant me?"

"I…" Roxas starts, but Axel doesn't let him finish.

"Do you know what you're saying, Roxas?" The sudden use of his name instead of his nickname makes a red light buzz around in his head, and he recoils slightly. When Axel sees this reaction, he stops moving around the room and takes a deep breath before opening his eyes again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that. It's just… It's unexpected. I'm 11 years older than you, Rox." The emphasis on their age gap does nothing but hurt him. "You're still a kid."

"I'm not a kid!" Roxas suddenly find his voice back, and his eyes are alight with a fire that hasn't been there before.

Taken aback, Axel licks his lips, trying to reason with him. "Ok. You're still young, Roxas. You haven't even gone through puberty yet! You haven't seen what's out there. You're just infatuated with me because I'm different. You don't like me. You're just curious of me."

Sensing fire bubble up his throat, Roxas does his best to remain calm but _infatuated_ keeps resonating through his head and he can't keep still anymore. "Don't go on deciding what I feel!" He says sharply as he gets up from the bed. His words echo through the room and he flinches, lowering his voice. "I feel things for you I haven't felt for anyone, or anything! I can't stop thinking about you!" His eyes are burning and, through a blurry vision, he can see Axel slightly taken aback. "I still have your jacket, and it makes me so sad that it doesn't smell like you anymore. I know I'm young. I know you're older than me. Why should it matter? Please, Axel…" His voice is a whisper as he fights back the sobs that are bubbling up his throat.

Axel sighs heavily, running his hand through his hair again. "You're surprisingly smart for a kid, Rox. And that's what's makes you dangerous. You don't want me to treat you like a kid? Fine. But you have to understand the position that I'm in. You're my friends' _son_. In every possible state, the law says that it is illegal for me to be with you. And that's why I have never considered it. I'm being fair with you, Roxas, and you have to be fair with me as well. I can't do this."

"Axel… Please… I won't tell anyone." Roxas knows that, at the moment he starts begging, he has already lost it. But, as Axel stands there, looking down at him with a mix of complicated emotions, he has never felt so distant.

"I'm sorry, Rox. I have consciousness, and I have principles. I can't do this."

He takes a hesitant step towards Axel. "Will you… Will you still come back? When you're done with California?"

"I don't know," he says truthfully, suspiciously eyeing Roxas as he takes another step closer. "It might take a while."

"Will you call?" Roxas asks as he takes another step, feeling encourage by Axel's response.

"I don't think it's good if I call."

"Please?" He begs, feeling crushed as he finally stands in front of Axel.

Sighing in defeat, the redhead buries his fingers in his head. "I'll send you letters. Okay? But no calls."

Feeling that this is the best that he can get, Roxas gladly takes it and, since Axel seems to have calmed down, he pushes his luck again. "Will you kiss me? Before you go?"

Axel looks troubled as he eyes Roxas, his lips bitten tightly. "You're too young to be seducing people."

The blond blushes at this comment, feeling oddly embarrassed. "I'm not… I'm not trying to seduce you."

"I know." Sighing heavily, Axel bends down and plants a kiss on his forehead before pushing him towards the door. "And that's why you're dangerous. Now go to sleep."

* * *

**And here I am with another story!**

**This is something I've been cooking around in my brain for a while. At first, I wanted to make it a one shot, but it got too big, so I changed the original plan. Now, it'll be at least two-shots but no longer than a three-shot. I haven't finished writing it yet, but I have everything planned out, so it shouldn't take too long to get this done.**

**Regarding updates: How about we make this a monthly thing? Since today is June 6****th****, next updated will be available by July 6****th****. Stay tuned!**

**Now, some of you may be asking: Where the hell is the update for Desire?!**

**Calm down, folks. I love you all and I have not abandoned Desire! Next chapter will be up sometime during next week, so you all can be excited now! For those of you who don't know it, Desire is my other story, also focusing on Axel and Roxas. Go check it out!**

**Please tell me what you think. Remember that I'm in this for you guys!**

**Kissed and hugs,**

**Clem.**


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